Honestly, I don’t even need to make fun of this. I wonder if Krispy Kreme will be there.
Archive for Musicians
Max Harris “I Want To Get High”
Well, I believe that our good pal Krispy Kreme has met his gay eurodance match. I don’t know what about this I loathe the most. His carefully selected wardrobe of sweatpants, sweatshirt, and vest? The horrific backing track complete with tepid sounding synths and abused autotune? The “masterful” direction and performance? The stimulating edit? The inspirational message about “getting high” backed by such fucking shitty lyrics that it makes “I had to fight my whole life/I could beat you up even if you had 1000 knives” seem like an ee cummings poem? The fact that nothing in this whole track goes together musically?
No, it’s everything that makes me hate this. It is the great confluence of inept creative decisions backed with a fundamental lack of taste and good sense. Everything about this “music” video reeks of a homeless man’s fetid asshole.
Max Harris, choke on some fish & chips and die, you pudgy British fuck. I will enjoy watching your dreams die.
Tags: Max Harris
You’re My Best Friend…
The fuck. I haven’t even watched this shit yet. I am just going to put it here and let all your brains run with it.
Tags: Boogers, Krispy Kreme
“This is, I think when rap music first started… kind of.”
Who needs to heckle? He makes fun of himself better than I could make fun of him.
Tags: Krispy Kreme
The Facebook Song. The Video.
Oh god. No. What the fuck is this abortion? I bet Zuckerberg gets a chub every time this fucking travesty plays.
Tags: Facebook
Krispy Kreme returns to drop further hot beats
Ok ok ok, look: if retard-hair, bedhead-having, booger-nose here isn’t joking, then I have suddenly become a terrible judge of character. But then there’s this:
I don’t even know what to think about this dimwit anymore. It just seems too perfect to be real, but not deliberate enough to be satire.
Let’s all agree that Krispy Kreme here is “the baddest,” that “all haters want to be [him],” and that he probably needs to move out of the Atlanta suburb where he lives with his parents. Oh, and, uh, I want to bet that “Money Maker Mike” isn’t making anyone money unless he’s asking if you want fries with that at the drive-through.
Tags: Boogers, Krispy Kreme
Bury Tomorrow? Bury yourselves, jerks.
What’s the best place to make your emotional Christian metalcore video? Oh, right, the side of a fucking hill. Like where they crucified Jesus.
How I imagined the preproduction meeting went:
“Yeah, so, uh, where should we shoot the video?”
“I don’t know. The side of a hill?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty metal. Nothing like a hillside in the middle of the day for being metal, amiright?”
“Let’s have microphones not connected to anything, too. That’ll be pretty sweet.”
“For Jesus!”
“For Jesus!”
Get real jobs, assholes.
Tags: Bury Tomorrow, Metal
“Roof Top Panty Drop”??? Really?
I literally just fell asleep watching this. And I don’t mean figuratively. I mean, I actually just fell asleep watching this shitty video after drinking four cups of coffee because it was so fucking boring. Also, “Roof Top Panty Drop” might be the stupidest name for a metal song I’ve ever seen.
Tags: The Devastated
Nah, probably not.
I paused Candiria for this piece of shit? Fuck. Is it too early to drink alone in the dark on a Saturday? You know what? Fuck it. Beer time. This song is fucking horrible.
Get an STD, bitch. Your bangs make you look like a 2 year old.
Tags: Carly Rae Jepsen
Krispy Kreme “The Baddest”…or maybe not.
I can’t tell if this little booger in need of a tissue is making hilarious satire or if he’s just so fucking clueless that he thinks this is good. As satire, it doesn’t really go far enough or feel deliberate enough, but I am willing to allow that, as a high school student, his grasp of satire might not yet be fully formed. However, all the elements are there: inane lyrics, runny nose, obvious ineptitude, composition so generic that it’s funny. He almost even has this weird Joe Lajoie thing? But, honestly, I might be reading way too much into it and giving him too much credit.
Then again, all the elements of him just being a 14 year old fuckwit are there too: inane lyrics, runny nose, obvious ineptitude, composition so generic that it’s funny. You really need to watch the whole video and listen closely to the words to get a sense of how fucking stupid this shit is. If the mucus pouring from Krispy Kreme’s nostril is too much for your sensitive stomach (pussy), you can hide it behind another tab and then just listen. You’ll miss some really fine tough guy posturing by Krispy Kreme and his beglassesed friend, but that’s the price you pay for being such a pussy you can’t handle a little snot. That is how bad Krispy Kreme is; that motherfucker doesn’t give a SHIT if his nose is covered in snot like a 5 year old.
In summation, someone make this fucking idiot wipe his nose.
Tags: Krispy Kreme
