Why would anyone just bury or cremate their beloved pet when they die when they could turn them into flying “art?”
I can’t decide if I like this, due to the fact that I think cats are vile, disparaging, ungrateful creatures or if I loathe this because–when you look into that thing’s eyes–it just plain CREEPS ME THE FUCK OUT.
Oh, you say you haven’t had all the facts yet? Watch the video, then read this.
I almost didn’t post this because I wasn’t sure if it is too mean to make fun of someone who is obviously so fucking damaged. Then I remembered why I started this site and put it up because I AM NOT A FUCKING PUSSY.
This shit sounds like what I imagine a late term abortion tastes like. Think about that one for a second. Yeah. I’d rather be that poor fuck in Florida who had his face eaten off than listen to this miserable cow sing her song again. Only 74,843 dislikes on Youtube? NOT ENOUGH.
What makes people do horrible things like this? Do they hate everyone?
Guess what guys?! I heard you were looking for a way to look like a tragic slob on your wedding day and then I discovered today that Ugg Boots is now making a wedding line. For real. Because nothing says, “I love you forever,” like making sure your little feetsies are warm and comfy on your fucking wedding day.
I fucking hate uggs, but I feel like my hatred has already been described by someone smarter than me more perfectly than I could.
I possess nothing but the sincerest enmity, the most profound disdain, the most resounding loathing for you. You inflict ruin on the feet and ankles of women everywhere, women gullible enough to believe that how they appear to other people is less important than that their little toesies are warm and cuddly. You are emblematic of the laziness that is ruining humanity. For every silly woman wearing you with tucked in sweatpants and a sweatshirt or North Face fleece (the gray and black one, you know the one I am talking about) I want to kick a defenseless puppy. I shed a tear for the future of the human race every time I see a pink pair attempting to navigate the filthy Manhattan snowbanks. I want to choke someone until I see the light drain out of their eyes every time I see a mother/daughter pair dressed similarly, wearing Uggs, and holding shopping bags. (via The Black Laser)
Beautiful, isn’t it?
Anyone who would tolerate people wearing Ugg boots to their wedding should be dragged out back and shot in the chest. Anyone who would wear Ugg boots to their own wedding, should be dragged out back, flayed, shot in the knees, and left for dead.
Seriously though. Head on over to the site and take a look at the beautiful fucking shit boots they’re peddling. Like this one!
"I love you soooo much, I wore ugly boots with SEQUINS ON THEM."
Or this one!
"These fuzzy wedding shoes are going to look great in our marriage trailer!"
Oh God, please, no more. No more, I beg you! What have I done to deserve this torture?!
, Ugg Boots
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Oh, hey. I almost didn’t see you there, C-String
Many a time I have found myself sitting around, dreaming about a day when I find a pair of panties that defies all rules. Something that merely covers the vajayjay and threads straight up through the back door. THANK YOU GOD FOR FINALLY MAKING THIS DAY A REALITY!
And thank you C-string for creating something skankier and less attractive than a G-string! It looks like a fucking pink maxi pad that is being held onto by kegel muscles and a prayer.
Here’s an idea: GO COMMANDO YOU FUCKING WEIRDOS!
No man has ever regretted disrobing a woman and finding nothing underneath.
Here’s my tagline: The C-String. Take your whoreness to a whole new level.
That’s it for now. I’ll C-U-Next-Tuesday.
Right from the get go I can tell I am in for a serendipitous and knee-slapping film when an unassuming and pious nun opens a strange green bag tossed onto the stoop of her orphanage, only to have two midget sausage fingers hilariously invade her ocular cavities. You ask, “Well, do the side splitting shenanigans end there?” Surely you jest. In subsequent scene, the corpulent bald guy (curly) grabs the bad guys iPhone, holds it up to his left eye and screams “HELLO!” in a high pitched nasally voice so gay that it makes MY ass hurt. By the way do you get the joke?? He thinks it is an “eye phone.” With rapier word play like this I am absolutely flabbergasted that people have not been trampled to death outside of movie theaters in a desperate attempt to purchase a ticket. On the basis of said movie trailer, not only am I going to miss this one in theaters, but I hope everybody who aided and abetted this cinematic monstrosity will meet their demise via a chronic and painful bought with amebic dysentery.
Oh, LOL, how do I loathe thee?
I’d count the ways but no one can stay awake that long.
You’ve gone from meaning “ha ha, something is funny!” to “I have nothing else to say!”
“It’s raining buckets out there lol!”
“My cab driver is smelly lol”
“‘My mom still makes my lunch and pastes my toothbrush and I’m 34 lol!”
HOW DOES THAT NOT MAKE YOUR EYES VOMIT????
And, if we’re being technical here, “laughing out loud” is not even correct! It’s laughing ALOUD, you grammatical goats!
And really, are you really laughing?
Maybe you just giggled aloud. GA GA GA!
Or chuckled aloud- CA!
Or merely (barely) smiled aloud– wait that doesn’t even make fucking sense!
And if you’re a grown-ass man using LOL, your typing privileges should be hereby revoked, along with the use of your testes.
Hey, your AOL dial-up modem called. It wants its horrible acronym back.
EAT TWO DICKS, LOL!
Then die an abbreviation death in the Internet hellfire from whence you came.
Nope. It’s just too easy.
Whatever designer made this horrible logo should be fired. The RW circle thing looks like the product of some 14 year old with her first copy of Illustrator. Embarrassing.
, Resarth Warld
Hey, you know what we all really need? Some good ol’ fashioned sadness! Let’s get MAD SAD y’all! And thanks so much, Nicholas Sparks, for really breaking the mold this time with an against-the-odds, overcoming adversity love story. Oh, THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE, you twisted, tear-duct-hating spawn of Satan!
“Hey, I have a great idea. Let’s find two abnormally good-looking people and have them triumph over incredible hurdles so they may fall deeply in love like no two people ever have before. Preferably on a beach somewhere, near some dunes or some shit. With all that stabby, grassy stuff. THEN, holy shit this is SO sad, but one of them will suddenly get Leukemia or that shaky Michael J. Fox thing and then you won’t even remember what happened next but you should just bring lots of tissues and hide your Cutco knives.”
Oh, wait. I’ve done that before? Oopsie. Ok, let’s make it about war then. And, obstacles. And two hot people. Donesies!